Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Interview With Maria Medaris in Armstrong City as it appeared in Bootprints, the Premiere Paper of the Moon

Photo of businesswoman Maria Medaris
 by Stoptha Prezzez, reporter for the Armstrong City Bootprints


Interview with Maria Medaris [CRESCENT by Homer Hickam] by Stoptha Prezzes, reporter for the Armstrong City Bootprints, the Moon's #1 Newspaper

Today we are honored to interview Maria Medaris, President of the Medaris Jumpcar Company (MJC), and granddaughter of Colonel John High Eagle Medaris, the founder of Moontown and Medaris Family Enterprises.


Armstrong City Bootprints: You're 19 years old and you've led convoys across the moon, served as a diplomat for your grandfather, and now the president of a profitable company. How do you explain your success at such an early age?

Maria Medaris: I hold a Ph.D. in engineering and I work very hard.

ACB: Then it has nothing to do with being the granddaughter of the fabulously wealthy and enterprising Colonel Medaris?

MM: Not at all. Because I'm family, I probably had to work harder to get where I am. There are many members of the Medaris family who are not in a position of responsibility or authority. For instance, I'm my father's boss.

ACB: What's that like?

MM: Interesting. I expect maximum performance out of everyone in my company.

ACB: Could you tell us more about the recent attack by a warpod on your jumpcar while you were visiting the lunar wayback? Do you know who did it?

MM: I was visiting the Apollo 12 landing site with several colleagues to study how best to protect it for future generations. Then a drone flew past me and I suspected it was from a warpod. I took off but was hit by a kinetic missile, losing an engine. Since I had no weapons on the jumpcar, I used the exhaust from my remaining engine to cook off a missile on the warpod's wing. While it limped off, I ejected the damaged engine and ran for Armstrong City. As to whose warpod it was, we have our suspicions. There will be consequences.

ACB: That's amazing. So not only are you a great executive, you're also an expert jumpcar pilot!

MM: There's only one better. His name is Crater Trueblood.

ACB: I recall that name. Wasn't he the boy you crossed the moon with several years ago in a heel-3 convoy which was constantly attacked by crowhoppers?

MM: Yes, but I would prefer not to talk about him.

ACB: But you brought him up.

MM: I said I don't want to talk about Crater Trueblood. I will never see him again. I never want to see him again. Strike that. Strike everything I just said about him.

ACB: Of course. So what's next for Maria Medaris?

MM:  Whatever it is, it won't involve Crater. He's nothing to me.

ACB:Yet, you keep mentioning him. Are you in love with Crater Trueblood, Miss Medaris?

MM: No! Crater is nothing but trouble. Besides that, he's captured a crowhopper and thinks he can tame it, not that I care. Now, if you'll excuse me, my schedule is very full. This interview is concluded. My assistant will show you out.

Interview With Crescent the Crowhopper in Moontown





Photo of crowhopper named Crescent
 by Missy "Scoop" Wilkerson


Interview with Crescent [CRESCENT by Homer Hickam] by Missy "Scoop" Wilkerson, junior reporter for the Moontown Scrapes, the daily paper for the productive people of Moontown

Today we have an opportunity for our readers to hear from Crescent, the teenage killer crowhopper recently captured by our esteemed Moontown Irregulars. Presently incarcerated for the murder of Officer Jones, a fine Moontown policeman, I recently visited her cell accompanied by armed guards to keep her from also murdering me, your dedicated Moontown Scrapes reporter. Since we know she's guilty because our beloved Colonel Medaris told us she is, please disregard anything she might say which would lead you to think she might be the slightest bit innocent of anything.—Missy "Scoop" Wilkerson


Moontown Scrapes: When you murdered Officer Jones, did you enjoy it? I have heard crowhoppers love to kill people.
Crescent: I do not like the term crowhopper. It is offensive to me. I am a warrior of the Legion Internationale.

MS: I see. When you killed our policeman, was that offensive?
C: Officer Jones deserved to die. Did you know that his real name was Warto and that he murdered millions of people on Earth?

MS: Come now, the Colonel would never hire such a man.
C: But he did. Warto also tried to rape me.

MS: Unbelievable. How exactly did you murder him?
C: He deserved to die. That is all I will say.

MS: All right, then. I understand you were captured by Moontown citizen Crater Trueblood during a battle. I thought all crowhoppers fought to the death. What happened?
C: To my great shame, I was subdued before I could die. Then I was brought to this dirty little town. Since my captor treated me with some kindness, I decided to live within the rules of this place. As you can see, it did not work out.

MS: Of course, it didn't. Monsters can't live with normal humans. Surprisingly, I understand Crater is unhappy you are here. In fact, I have heard he has even argued with Colonel Medaris about your incarceration.
C: Crater is a kind man and means well. He does not understand who I am. He also does not understand who the Colonel is. He is, of course, a vile dictator willing to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

MS: Our beloved founder is nothing of the kind. But by criticizing him, you put yourself in peril. As you know, we do not have trials here in Moontown. Colonel Medaris's wise decisions are our laws. Aren't you afraid he will send you outside on a dustwalk? No one has ever survived being put outside with only a standard airpack.
C: You are somewhat amusing. Legionnaires do not fear death. Our motto is "Life is death. Death is life."

MS: Charming. How were you trained to be a crowhopper?
C:  Wooden barracks, cold days, colder nights, weapons training, crawling through the mud, mush for food. That is how we are trained, that is how we live.

MS: Anything good?
C: That is good.

MS: What do you consider bad?
C: Losing. I also don't like being laughed at. I know I'm ugly. That is no reason for amusement.

MS: Do ordinary humans look ugly to you?
C: Some do. For instance, the Sheriff of Moontown to me is ugly as a dirty pistol.

MS: How about Crater?
C: Crater is a well-formed human male, reasonably pleasant to look at.

MS: Am I missing something? Surely you have no romantic intentions toward Crater Trueblood!
C: Crater is a friend.

MS: A crowhopper friend? That would be the stuff of nightmares.
C: This interview is over. Please leave.

MS: Nothing will make me happier. My skin has been crawling during this entire interview. Enjoy your stroll in the dust, little Miss Murderer. Guards, I'm ready to leave!

This concludes the transcript of the interview between Missy "Scoop" Wilkerson, junior reporter for the Moontown Scrapes, and the murderous crowhopper called Crescent.